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Past is the past is the past

By on September 17, 2016

I’m someone who takes great pride in the fact that I can cut ties to relationships the minute they become toxic. I don’t feel the need to keep anyone in my realm who brings negativity, chaos, spews venom or tries to drag me back to the place I came from.

The first situation was a chance encounter with a person who knew me online during the time I was going through my transformation. I use the phrase “knew me” lightly because anyone who claims to know someone based on their online presence only sees what that person has typed out on Twitter, Facebook or a blog. They don’t know the full scope of who a person is so they base their perception on what they’re seeing. Which is completely fair.

So flash forward a few years and part of the comments directed to me were, “There’s nothing classy or professional about you.”

Well, based on what they saw years ago, that would be a fair assessment but were the handful of interactions we had online enough to justify the comment? Don’t remember and don’t really care at this point. All I could do was laugh and wish her well.

The second situation was one a complete severing of ties from my past. Every once in a while, people I’ve known over the course of my lifetime will pop back in with something profound to teach me. I’ve always subscribed to Stephen King’s philosophy that friends come in and out of our lives like busboys in a restaurant but sometimes you’ve got to push them out that door and keep that fucking thing locked.

No matter how self-aware you are or how much you’ve grown, how many candles you light or mantras you chant, you are no one’s doormat. Don’t let anyone try to drag you down to their level. You can be at peace with yourself and set boundaries. If someone keeps pushing them, you are not obligated to wish them love and light and hope they back the fuck off. Sometimes it’s better to just stand up for yourself and tell them to back the fuck off. You own no explanations or have to justify your beliefs to anyone who” knew you when.” People grow, change, fail, try again, make mistakes, rise up and bounce back. Your timeline is your own and what you believe, is your truth. It doesn’t have to match up with people from your past as long as you stand up for what you believe in. 

Here’s the thing.

People will see you as they choose to see you and that’s OK. You have got to stay focused on your path without allowing the distractions from your past hold you back from your true purpose. Your past was there to teach you and get you to this place but it’s not your reality at this moment. 

Right now, in this moment, you have to decide where your past fits into your present.

Deep, right?